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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26531011">Three's a Crowd</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Vampirates - Justin Somper</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Friendship, Gen, Humor, Implied Bart/Cate, Missing Scene</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2012-04-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2012-04-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 05:41:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,208</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26531011</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jez returns from shore leave to the Diablo to find a whole lot's been happening since he left.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anonymous</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Three's a Crowd</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jez Stukeley tied the ropes his crewmates had thrown down moments before, swiftly but surly to the dingy. Certain it was secure, he gave it a tug, to let the crew above know he was ready. There was a pause, then a sudden jerk as the dingy was lifted above the waves. The boat swung through the air for a few moments but in almost no time at all, it had been winched to the deck of the ship.</p><p>Several of his fellow pirates greeted him with smiles and jokes.</p><p>"Cheers," Jez beamed, as he jumped out of the boat. As much as he loved shore-leave, it was always good to be home again, surrounded by his mates.</p><hr/><p>Jez entered the mess hall, instantly spotting his two closest friends among the pirate throngs, despite their backs being turned to him. <em>Ha! I 'm willing to bet my last dollar these two have spent every minute together since I've been gone, </em>he thought triumphantly. <em>What is it they say…? Two's company but three's a crowd!</em></p><p>"Long time no see" Jez had with a grin, as he approached him. They both spun round at the sound of his voice.</p><p>"What's up buddy?" Bart asked, standing up and greeting him with a 'bro-hug'. </p><p>"Hello, Jez! " Cate added with a warm smile, although she remained sitting, "How was your trip?"</p><p>"Brill', thanks,"</p><p>"Well don't just stand on ceremony then," Bart said. "Grab yourself a chair and tell us about it."</p><p>He sat down, as Cate jumped up. "I'll go grab you a cup of tea. Want another?" she asked Bart, spotting Bart's empty mug.</p><p>"Cheers." He handed her the mug, as well as her drained one and she headed towards the serving hatch.</p><p>As soon as she was out of ear-shot, Jez leaned in towards his friend, "So have you laid the moves on the lovely <em>Catherine</em> yet?</p><p>To his intense satisfaction, Bart blushed a tomato red, "Oi, lay off. We're just friends,"</p><p>"So that's a no then."</p><p>"Anyway," he continued, ignoring the cheek. "We've had so much happen while you've been away I haven't had the time."</p><p>"Like what?" he snorted, sure Bart was just looking for a quick escape from his jibs until Cate returned.</p><p>"Well, you remember that Governor who's house we raided last month?"</p><p>"Yeah, what about him?"</p><p>"Well, his sons attempted to assassinate Captain Wrahte. Then we raided another ship, got two new crew members, and of course, Cate's been busy keeping Mulcoco and Cheng Li away from each other's throats-"</p><p>"Which, believe me, is no easy task," Cate cut in, setting the cups of tea she had returned with down on the table.</p><p>Jez gave her a nod of thanks and took a sip, almost choking as Bart added with a grin, "Oh yeah and I single-handedly fought off a ship of vampires."</p><p>Jez sputtered, before hastily swallowing the remaining tea in his mouth before bursting into laughter.</p><p>"A ship of vampires, really? Just how gullible do you think I am?"</p><p>Cate rolled her eyes at Bart. "Stop exaggerating, you only fought one of them and you weren't alone."</p><p>Jez snorted. "So your in on this too? Because, once again, I repeat; how gullible do you think I am?"</p><p>"No, I really did fight a vampire. Look!" he rolled up his right sleeve and pointed at his forearm which boasted a relatively fresh wound.</p><p>Jez was unimpressed. "It's a scratch. Bite marks would have been more impressive."</p><p>Bart chuckled good-naturedly. "Well I wasn't going to let the bloody bugger get that close was I?"</p><p>"No, but you could have drawn some one. Made it more believable, like."</p><p>"I know it sounds a little insane, Jez, but he isn't joking," Cate said softly.</p><p>Again, Jez couldn't help but snort. "Yeah and I'm the queen of the mermaids. Come on, guys, this joke's getting old."</p><p>"Ask Cheng Li if you don't believe us," Bart said smuggling, gesturing towards the serving hatch where she too was getting a cup of tea. "She's right over there."</p><p>Jez raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "You think I'm crazy? I'm not going to go ask Cheng Li if you've been battling vampires while I've been on shore leave. I'll look like a nutter."</p><p>"Seriously, I'll bet you an infinite amount of rounds at Ma Kettles' that she'll say yes if you ask her."</p><p>"An infinite amount of rounds at Ma's?" <em>That was too tempting, </em>"You better keep your end of the deal."</p><p>"Not a problem," Bart said with a grin, before calling out as Cheng Li walked past. "Deputy Li, look who's back from the dead."</p><p>She glanced their way, as Bart gestured towards him.</p><p>"Welcome back Mr. Stukeley," she greeted, with the minimalist of smiles, "I expect you'll be ready to resume your duties bright-and-early tomorrow morning."</p><p>"Yes, ma'am."</p><p>She glanced at her watch. "Well I hope you've had a pleasant trip but you'll have to excuse me, I'm late for a meeting with the Captain."</p><p>"Ma'am? Before you go," he addressed her again, feeling foolish and just slightly nervous. "Could you just clarify something for me?" he glanced over at his friends, Bart was visibly struggling not to laugh outright and even Cate was cracking out into a grin.</p><p>"What is it?"</p><p>"Could you just clarify for these two that the Diablo hasn't come across any vampires lately. They won't stop going on about it."</p><p>"Oh, I see, they've been catching you up to speed." she said without batting an eyelash. "They're quite right, we did run across some vampires a couple of days ago. Is that all you wanted to ask?"</p><p>Jez nodded dumbly and watched her make her way out of the mess hall. After the initial shock wore off Jez turned to his friends in amazement. "How on earth did you get Cheng Li to play along with your joke?"</p><p>Cate and Bart stared at him incredulously. "You still don't believe us? This is Cheng Li we're talking about. Cheng Li doesn't play jokes," Bart said. </p><p>He laughed. "Yeah, but otherwise you guys just sound plain crazy."</p><p>"I really did fight a vampire," Bart repeated, looking him straight in the eye. A wave of dread arose in Jez as he realised the simple truth: His mate was telling the truth.</p><p>"What…? How…? Why…?" he stuttered.</p><p>"Short story? To rescue a girl,"</p><p>"A girl?" He managed a shaking smile, glad to be in familiar ribbing territory. "Now that I can believe. Who is she? This girl?"</p><p>"Her name's Grace. She's Connor Tempest's sister."</p><p>"Which reminds me," Cate said standing suddenly, "I've got a sword-fighting lesson with Connor in about five minutes. I'll catch up with you guys later." She drained the rest of her mug and hurried out of the room.</p><p>"Hey, now that you believe me about the vampires," Bart said with a cheeky grin, "would you believe me if I said Cate's been <em>so</em> into me since you left?"</p><p>Jez considered for a moment, "No," he said decisively, shaking his head. "I find it much easier to believe you fought a hundred vampires than Cate admitting any feelings for you."</p><p>They both chuckled until a fresh thought suddenly occurred to him. "Who the hell is Connor Tempest?"</p>
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